end

i moved out for good yesterday. today i had this aim conversation with nic:

nic: so um
nic: have there always been door stops on the bathroom door
nic: the answer is no
nic: my next question is
me: hahahahahhahahahahahahahhaha
nic: when did they put door stops on the bathroom door
me: hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah
nic: whats so funny?
me: i got you good
nic: how?
me: i unscrewed the door stop to stop way sooner, i bet you could barely open the door.

wham!

i told justin i was going home early tomorrow morning, he started singing wake me up before you go go, i asked him if he really wanted me to wake him up before i left, he said no.

hi justin

today i was walking back from class and there were tons of people around but i spotted justin walking towards me when he was still about 200 feet away and apparently he spotted me too. we were still way too far away from each other to say hello so i pretended not to see him. then i heard him yell “yo!!!”, i ignored him, not because i didn't want to say hello, but it was way too far of a distance to be saying hello, i had planned on saying hello when we were much closer. then again i heard him yell “yo bro!!!”, this time i looked up and waved at him, we are still about 100 feet away from each other. then justin yelled "is the baby too embarassed to say hello to his roommate”, i kept my head down and kept walking, as we passed each other i said “hi justin”, he said nothing and kept riding his scooter past me.

my bathroom

this is what nic did to our bathroom.

notes:

2 judge judies

blackout band autograph

“no diving” sticker on toilet

toilet paper roll tower

girl scout ramen

i opened my box of thin mints and inside there were no thin mints, instead there was a package of ramen. I questioned justin about it and he claimed it was an even trade. an entire box of thin mints is not a fair trade of one package of ramen.

you're supposed to choose

justin got a box of free stuff off of craigslist, including a bunch of choose your own adventure goosebumps books. he reads them out loud in my room, but when he gets to a decision he doesnt decide and he just flips to the next page. he just reads them straight through and it doesn’t make any sense.

the window incident

i had my friend over yesterday. when he came in i said something like “so this is my room...”, then nic said “oh, so its your room now, that’s funny i thought it was OUR room”. later on my friend said he was getting kind of cold. i asked nic to close the window and he said “no, i'm very hot”. i asked again politely, he said “if I close the window i'm taking off all my clothes”. i said forget it. then nic closed the window and took off all his clothes, then sat at his computer for about an hour. my friend left.

monopoly

nic and justin asked me to play monopoly today, i was pretty excited because i love monopoly. they argued over who got to be the car for a good 5 minutes, both arguing that they were always the car and all other pieces were gay. finally justin gave in and nic got the car, but justin refused to be any other piece and used a legoman instead. both of them made fun of me for picking the thimble. nic made car noises every time he moved. when i threw doubles 3 times in a row justin yelled “you got greedy, have fun in jail bitch”. the game ended when nic made his car crash into justin’s legoman as he was passing him and justin flipped the board.

wicked sound

i was walking outside today and i heard a constant bumping noise behind me getting closer and closer. it was justin on his razor scooter. as he passed me he said “i got a flat spot on my scooter wheel, how wicked does this sound? can i give you a lift bro?” then he laughed and rode away. i still hope he falls.

home improvement

yesterday i was watching home improvement on the couch and i fell asleep, when i woke up there was a paper taped to my shirt that said “HOME IMPROVEMENT SUCKS”. It looks like nic’s handwriting.

USOA

justin asked me what USA stood for today, i said the united states of america, he replied “nope, united states america, theres no O”. I started to say that the “of” isn’t really important enough to get a letter, but before I could finish he interrupted and said “WRONG! no prize for you today. SORRY!”. I don’t think there was one.

comments

i figured out how comments work, so please leave me comments :-) i will not post any mean comments and because of a bad experience i will not click any links, there are some scary things on the internet.

elevator ride

i got on the elevator today to go back up to our room on the 12^th floor, nic thought it was funny to push all the buttons even though he had to go to the same place. it was the worst elevator ride of my life.

deviled eggs

today i came back to the room and nic and justin were making deviled eggs, only they cut the hardboiled eggs the wrong way (like if the egg is standing straight up, they cut it at the x-axis instead of the y), so there were big deep egg bowl ones and tiny shallow ones. When I asked them why they cut them like that they just started cracking up , and nic said “i told you he would ask”. i’ll never understand why things like that are funny to them.

scooter

justin brought his razor scooter from home and he rides it everywhere. every time I go to leave he asks me where i’m going and when i tell him he always says “that’s a pretty far walk dude, bet you wish you had a scooter”. i hope he falls.

its so loud :-(

nic is whistling the song "truly madly deeply" by savage garden really really loud and in its entirety.

sculpture tamperer

i came back to my room today and found my parrot sculpture had been tampered with.

i asked Justin about it and he said "yeah, i made it way better bro, now its a baby bird." i asked him where the bird's head was and he told me I'd find it.

i found the parrot's head and the fetus' body under my pillow later on.


i really don't understand how he thinks this is funny, and where do you even get a plastic fetus?

2.0!

welcome to i hate my roommates 2.0, i made the transition from wordpress to blogger because i wanted to add a bunch of stuff to my blog but didnt know how. a quick google search showed that it was way easier to add things with blogger, like the cool new logo, pictures in my posts, and the cool new counter. i will leave my wordpress site up, but any new posts will be here at 2.0. for any new readers, this blog is about how much i hate my roommates nic and justin.

that's amore

nic has watched the first episode of mtv’s “that’s amore” 4 separate times, and thats only the amount of times ive witnessed it, who knows how many times hes watched it total. if i ask him if he could put something else on, he says “it’s my favorite episode” and turns it up way to loud (volume 50/50). what makes it even worse is he uses an over sized remote, about the size of a toaster, and looks at me while the volume increases. i am so mad >:-|

pbj ratio

justin’s jelly to peanut butter ratio is way off, he uses between 2 and 3 times the amount of jelly to peanut butter. this bothers me for 2 reasons. his sandwich is overloaded with jelly so he always ends up dripping it somewhere and doesn’t bother to clean it up. also he goes through jelly way faster than peanut butter and ends up stealing my jelly. i have seen him throw his jelly container out one day, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the next day and still deny using my jelly. he needs to buy 3 jellys for one jar of peanut butter, but he won’t, he’ll just steal mine.

calendar race

i have one of those calendars where you have to rip a page off everyday, its my calendar and its on my side of the room. at a little after midnight nic likes rip the page off, and do the victory motion when you thrust your elbow downward (similar to the truck driver horn motion) and say YESSS. he gets excited about winning a “race” that im not even taking part in, its so frustrating. >:-[

ipod phantom

i listened to my ipod today. all my songs were gone and there were 2 new songs on it: faith by george michael and faith by limp bizkit. i suspect nic.

that was easy

justin got one of those staples easy buttons a few days ago, he hasn’t stopped pressing it since. on an hourly basis i have to hear things like “yo, yo, bro whats 2 + 2″, regardless of whether i answer or not it is immediately followed by “THAT WAS EASY”. hes pressing it right now, he won’t stop.

paper towel trick

i was making easy mac today, i put it in the microwave for about 5 minutes and then went back into my room. shortly after, nic yells to me from the kitchen, “yo, your macaroni and cheese is done”. so i walk into the kitchen, see that the microwave is still on and theres still about two minutes left. then, as im standing in the kitchen with him, disappointed that my mac and cheese is unfinished, he says “oh, by the way, we need more paper towels”. so i pointed out that two feet to his left was a full roll of paper towels, he then started laughing hysterically like he had just said the funniest thing in history. i was furious, but i just took my easy mac and went back into my room. i just don’t get it.

sink trap

winter break is over and i came back to the apartment yesterday, as soon as i walked in the door i was immediately disappointed with having to live here for another entire semester. when i opened the door i noticed that it felt a little bit heavier, once it was completely opened the kitchen sink to my right turned on and i could see a system of ropes and pulleys were rigged so that when the door opened the sink turned on. The next thing i saw and heard were nic and justin sitting on the couch laughing at me. I wasn’t really bothered by the “booby trap” because all it did was turn the sink on, which was about 5 feet away so i was in no danger of getting wet. however, nic and justin acted like this was the greatest prank anyone had ever pulled and continued to laugh and taunt me for another 15 minutes. this is going to be another great semester.